September 12, 2008 at 12:45 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

I’m sick and frustrated.  Basically, I think I may have accidentally taken too much medicine on an empty stomach and that caused me to get horribly sick.  I actually ended up leaving work at 10:50 and I seriously didn’t think I was going to make it home.  I still feel bleck but I’m alive at least.  And, I didn’t throwup, not even once, so that’s a huge bonus!

My day hasn’t been very productive or interesting.  But, I feel better after yesterdays post, even though it brought out some very raw emotions I still don’t feel like I’m ready to deal with.  It was completely necessary and I’m actually proud of myself for being able to post it and not even once think about making it private.  I kind of feel like it was a tribute to my Dad.  And, in a way, it was a coping tool for me.  I wish I could have my Mom read it, but I don’t know if she will or could.  My Mom is in no way a weak woman, but she is still sufferring gravely from my Dad’s death.  They were incredibly close and she is, in essence all alone now.  Don’t get me wrong, I am and always will be there for my Mom, but I could never replae my Dad, nor would I want to.  I had the benefit of having Victor to help me through his death.  And while he couldn’t provide much solace for me, I wasn’t alone and I could always talk to him.  My Mom and I don’t speak much about my Dad to each other because it is a constant source of pain.  I’m hoping one day we will get to the point of being able to remember happy thoughts without tears and pain.

OK, I’m done touching on that subject for awhile now.  The seasons are slowly starting to change and we are heading into my favorite time of the year.  I LOVE fall and winter.  This time of year is always so busy and jovial.  That cool in the air does wonders for my soul!  There’s so much to celebrate/take part in.  There’s Halloween, my anniversary, Thanksgiving, Victor’s birthday, and Christmas!  All such happy things for me.  It takes me back to my childhood and all the pleasant memories I have of those times.

I guess Hurrican Ike is headed this way.  I actually just saw a “Tropical Inland Warning” on my TV screen just a few minutes ago.  This is so odd to me!  I live probably 4 hours away from the coast, I’ve never had to worry about Hurricanes before.  Of course this really isn’t that big of a deal, we aren’t right on the coast and things should be too bad.  I love the rain and it will be most welcome here.  I guess it’s just odd.  As some accounting firm down the street says on their billboard, “It’s a Sign of the Times”.


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